Renowned Sex Therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer Passes Away at 96
Internationally acclaimed sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer, who tore down taboos with her open, nonjudgmental and good-humored public conversations about human intimacy, has died. She was 96 years old.
According to her longtime publicist Pierre Lehu, Westheimer died peacefully on Friday at her home in New York City. The cause of death was not publicly shared.
Westheimer became a household name in the early 1980s when she was in her 50s, for her frank approach to discussing sex on her popular late-night radio show, Sexually Speaking.
She continued her work on TV with The Dr. Ruth Show, which by 1985 attracted 2 million viewers a week. She also shared her knowledge in dozens of books including Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex and Sex for Dummies, on the web and in the classroom. She taught at Yale, Princeton and Columbia Universities as well as Hunter College.
Westheimer was a proponent of safe sex who normalized the use of words like “penis,” “vagina” and “condom,” at a time when few dared use these terms in public settings.
She was also an outspoken supporter of gay and abortion rights, catching fire from conservatives during the Reagan era for her stance.
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Anti-feminist leader Phyllis Schlafly criticized Dr. Ruth Westheimer, along with Gloria Steinem, Anita Hill, Madonna, Ellen DeGeneres, and others, for promoting “provocative sex chatter” and “rampant immorality” in her 1999 essay “The Dangers of Sex Education.”
Catholic firebrand Rev. Edwin O’Brien also criticized Westheimer, labeling her work as morally compromising.
Despite her detractors, Westheimer, with her German-tinged English (once described by The Wall Street Journal as “a cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse”) and diminutive stature (well under five feet tall), approached her work with enthusiasm and a sense of humor. She emphasized that there is nothing to be ashamed of when discussing sex, often using her cheeky catchphrase “Get Some!”
“I certainly believe in the need for sexuality education. It has to be based on scientifically validated data and taught with some humor,” she told NPR in 2007.
Westheimer’s global success and positive outlook belied a difficult past.
Born Karola Ruth Siegel in Frankfurt, Germany, in 1928, Westheimer was the only child of an orthodox Jewish family. At 10, her parents sent her to Switzerland to escape Kristallnacht. She believed her parents were murdered at Auschwitz, as she never saw them again.
These early tragedies were kept private for most of her career, until she spoke openly about her past in the 2019 Hulu documentary “Ask Dr. Ruth.”
After the war, she immigrated to Palestine, training as a scout and sniper for Haganah, the Jewish militia, and sustaining a serious injury during a mortar attack. Westheimer moved to Paris two years later, studied psychology at the Sorbonne, and then immigrated to the United States in 1956.
In New York, she worked as a maid while studying for her master’s degree in sociology at the New School, and later earned a Doctorate of Education from Columbia University’s Teacher’s College.
Her post-Ph.D. job at Planned Parenthood in Harlem, teaching women sex education, led her to delve deeper into the study of sexuality.
Beyond her work as a sex therapist, Westheimer became a cultural icon. She appeared on late-night TV talk shows, co-starred in the 1985 movie comedy “One Woman Or Two” alongside Gérard Depardieu, appeared on the cover of People magazine, sang on Tom Chapin’s “This Pretty Planet” album, hosted Playboy videos, and was the focus of the one-woman play “Becoming Dr. Ruth” and the board game “Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex.”
Dr. Ruth: Let’s Talk About Sex
Many public figures took to social media to express their sadness at Westheimer’s death.
“Dr. Ruth Westheimer led an extraordinary life,” wrote New York Gov. Kathy Hochul on X, remembering Westheimer’s role as New York’s first-ever Ambassador to Loneliness. “We worked together to spotlight a mental health crisis impacting our seniors. She was brave, funny, candid and brilliant.”
“Sad news,” wrote Librarian of Congress Carla Hayden, also on X. “Recently the @librarycongress acquired her papers and we’re hoping this collection will help researchers and raise awareness to the issues her listeners were struggling with.”
Westheimer was married three times. It was her third marriage, at age 32 to fellow Holocaust survivor Manfred “Fred” Westheimer, that stuck. Their life together lasted 36 years, until her husband’s death in 1997.
Westheimer is survived by two children and four grandchildren.
